Poor Mr Green

My daily commute to the Nest involves climbing ( or driving the dirt bike) into a 20 foot, outboard powered canoe, and crossing the Tulire River. A hundred-yard-wide snake of deep water that flows out of the misty, unnamed mountains to the west. I’ve gotten to know each of the boaters well , their particular quirks, and we now share a friendship. They all call me Jimmy save but one. He insists on calling me Mr Green, or “ señor Verde”. This not because my favorite color is green, nor because I wear a camo cap, no it’s because green means money. I wince every time he makes the reference.

The Nest is located smack dab in the middle of the poorest region of Costa Rica. Not only that, but we’re also deep inside the indigenous territory, where the majority are poorer than poor. As God has and continues to bless the Nest ministry, the locals have taken notice. Yes many of their children attend our weekly outreach, we employ 18 of them in our sustainable farm program, and we don’t hide our love of Jesus. But in regards to the material blessings for which we are so grateful, I pray against the spirit of envy, jealousy, and greed that might creep into their hearts and cloud the message that as human beings, we are ALL poor in spirit and in desperate need of the love and grace of God.

But it’s a slippery slope. Karina and I try our best to walk humbly, with gentle spirits, giving God the glory when the BriBri inevitably ask us how much we paid for things like our truck and quad, or the building supplies we frequently haul across the river in the canoes. We don’t lie when we say that all of it has been a gift from our Lord , and that we personally are not wealthy but honestly, I think sometimes it falls on deaf ears. Should we walk about in sack clothes and disheveled hair with dirty ragged faces? Umm.. no , I don’t believe that’s the answer. Humility, mindfulness, and gratitude are on the menu each day as we live our faith in action, and I need a heaping portion of each on my daily plate.

And so this brings me up to where karina and I find ourselves currently. Back in the U S of A. We’re in Florida for a quick visit of looking in on Karina’s mother, yearly doctor visits, and to get our passport visas stamped before we jump back into the flow of missionary life. All that, and we need a little breather too! Carrying God’s vision thru the lens of the Nest is exhausting. We both feel spent, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. As we plot ahead in this final preparation phase of opening the Nest to shelter the children, our enemy would love nothing more than to derail the whole thing. And what is one of our greatest weaknesses? Enter Mr. Green.

No sooner had we landed in Atlanta on our layover, and I felt it, like an unseen force warmly massaging my neck while whispering into my ear. I want, I need, I must have, more and more of it! Like the nighttime light pollution of a big city when it blankets out the moon and stars, the all consuming fog and drum beat of Capitalism had me in its dance. And in my memory I knew every movement. I felt my heart racing at all the possibilities and things I could buy. The stuff I could not do without, fantastically mesmerized. I was shocked at how my vanity was so close underneath the surface. With my mind dulled, my heart began to doubt in its trust of God, His ways and will for me were echoing down a labyrinth of long hallways of shops each blaring out and scrambling for my attention. My Amazon Prime shopping cart was getting bigger and bigger with all the amazing stuff I didn’t know I truly needed , as the algorithm of greed erased any notions of debt and slavery.

Poor poor Mr Green.

Being a missionary in the indigenous territory of a deep dark jungle under a heavy cloud of spiritual blindness is definitely challenging and hard work. But I wonder sometimes if living out our faith here in the midst of all this consumerism isn’t way way harder. Living amongst the poor & needy, has its perks, like I have no envy or jealousy for their stuff, and the Nests belongings are all gifts rather than earned, so I can’t help but feel grateful.

Please hear me on this matter, the USA and its consumer driven economy is an amazingly strong and well thought out system of governance. Everyone just has to keep lining up to the trough and spend like there’s no tomorrow, and everything will be ok.

But for those of us who call Heaven our true home there is a tomorrow. It’s called eternity. And what I do here, especially including my treasure, does and will have a deep impact on my eternity. There’s no dress rehearsal, I’m living this out in real time, it really does matter.

I was challenged by a message many years ago whose Bible verse was Mathew 6:21 “ Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”

‭‭I had always got that verse mixed up. I would reflect on my heart for Jesus and then give accordingly, you know the 10% and all the rest was mine. But the real meaning of that verse says “ follow the money, and that trail will lead you to find your heart”

Ouch. And that voice inside my head right now that wants to cleverly reason its way out of an uncomfortable situation, that’s the mirror of the truth, I see myself for what and who I am.

“You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭24‬ ‭

Yes Mr Green is guilty as charged.

I get it. We all need stuff, the Nest needs stuff too . The only saving grace in our case I believe, is our debt to love the BriBri people into Gods kingdom. Paul said it like this, “Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭13‬:‭8‬ ‭

Heavenly treasure? I can’t buy what’s not for sale, nor can I earn something that’s free. So what’s the total cost of my Amazon cart?

My heart, my affection, and devotion. And so mid worship yesterday in church, I ran to the bathroom and deleted my entire shopping extravaganza. Then a lightness and clarity fell over me, as I left my idol back in the trash bin and was drawn nearer to the vertical devotion of my very good God.

PS. Money matters, but God matters more. Even amongst the poor and needy I must guard my heart. Truthfully, the Nest needs more funds to keep our programs afloat. We keep our eyes and hearts open, knowing He is our provider as He captures His children’s lives, hearts, and yes, their treasures too.

With love and gratitude

James Beach